Parking, Panty Hose, Bone and Urine.

Cars should have to park with similar makes – all BMW owners can have a whole row to park over the line at an angle and no one will care because it is just a row of like minded douches that can then hive five each other at their choice of leather interior. All BMW owners are jerks. It’s science. But hey… Prius’ need their own row too. Line them all up with the other silent death machines – mostly smug hippies or EC – wannabes. They can all park together and not hear each other backing up or pulling in and slowly thin the herd. Whole Foods please designate two rows to house these fools.

There is a female in our company wearing nude pantyhose with very hairy legs. Pencil skirt and heels with a lovely banged 80’s coif that any hair band would have been proud to sport. She displays her lack of hair removal with gumption. That skin toned mesh of trickery can't keep that ever growing cascade caged for much longer and I have a front row seat. She also drives a Prius. Color? Tan!

The dentist informed me they had to remove “some bone” from my mouth. Doesn’t bone grow back? A fracture heals.. broken bones heal. What if it is like.. “Hey.. we may get scraped off again better double up here boys!” I can feel it getting enormous in its defense tactics and with my ginger hair and blotchy complexion I feel like my look will start to lean toward the boy from Mask. It's science. I was going to speak to my dentist about this but noticed out the window his BMW was parked at an angle.

Venice Beach is a great place to live if you like the smell of urine and pot. I can guarantee you that you do not. If you doubt this… don’t pee on yourself and smoke up. Have someone else pee on you and then let it sizzle in the sun… then ask some crazy dirty homeless hippie to breathe into your face. What draws people here with uber level money? Who says.. “Hey I wanna build a 10 million dollar house on a lot meant for a tiny bungalow next to this aromatic section 8 housing.” If my ass could afford that.. my ass would be in Santa Monica oblivious to the urine smell instead of living on hooker alley complaining about panty hose.